Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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