What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
