Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
