Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.

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(206): View more from Washington

He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.

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(905): View more from Ontario

I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.

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(714): View more from California

That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place

(516): View more from New York

Be outside in 5

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