Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
