so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
being pregnant is like rehab
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
