I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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