it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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