you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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