I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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