He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
