Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday

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  (570): Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday http://tfl.nu/tnzp
  Replies (2) Good night (1686) Bad night (573)
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  (559): View more from California

  you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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  (559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you http://tfl.nu/hdb5
  Replies (17) Good night (1140) Bad night (4121)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world

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  (631): i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world http://tfl.nu/qaz3
  Replies (30) Good night (6933) Bad night (1321)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life

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  (248): after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life http://tfl.nu/k9mo
  Replies (16) Good night (4728) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.

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  (740): He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick. http://tfl.nu/4s44
  Replies (22) Good night (4930) Bad night (1366)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

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  (250): If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour. http://tfl.nu/xxvi
  Replies (39) Good night (11969) Bad night (1485)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here

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  (315): Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here http://tfl.nu/edol
  Replies (6) Good night (2054) Bad night (1880)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."

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  (+27): She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga." http://tfl.nu/sbmz
  Replies (13) Good night (2039) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

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  (704): And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control. http://tfl.nu/cnqj
  Replies (18) Good night (2409) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.

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  (916): My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina. http://tfl.nu/c849
  Replies (17) Good night (2763) Bad night (683)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?

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  (717): What time do you think you'll be heterosexual? http://tfl.nu/40xd
  Replies (6) Good night (1304) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.

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  (704): Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom. (615): My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you. http://tfl.nu/pnfc
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.

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  (619): I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers. http://tfl.nu/goy8
  Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay

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  (402): why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay http://tfl.nu/d49s
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.

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  (+44): Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever. http://tfl.nu/fu0y
  Replies (2) Good night (273) Bad night (460)

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