I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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