Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again

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  (727): I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again http://tfl.nu/kvos
  Replies (7) Good night (1035) Bad night (2594)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  $1 pitcher night should be outlawed.

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  (859): $1 pitcher night should be outlawed. http://tfl.nu/2dye
  Replies (38) Good night (5304) Bad night (852)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.

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  (267): New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/d4tz
  Replies (28) Good night (2173) Bad night (4798)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward

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  (602): i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward http://tfl.nu/yrv2
  Replies (21) Good night (983) Bad night (3467)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again

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  (618): Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again http://tfl.nu/9mpp
  Replies (34) Good night (6446) Bad night (840)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick

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  (210): Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick http://tfl.nu/y4fo
  Replies (61) Good night (5579) Bad night (1247)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.

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  (443): I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again. http://tfl.nu/jzey
  Replies (10) Good night (2995) Bad night (1252)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.

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  (204): Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out. http://tfl.nu/sq7d
  Replies (6) Good night (3240) Bad night (989)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?

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  (832): Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities? http://tfl.nu/5gd1
  Replies (33) Good night (974) Bad night (7072)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan

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  (404): I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan http://tfl.nu/xldl
  Replies (14) Good night (5383) Bad night (1417)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude

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  (808): There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude http://tfl.nu/nnq9
  Replies (2) Good night (1497) Bad night (679)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES

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  (604): We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES http://tfl.nu/h0lt
  Replies (1) Good night (1275) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.

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  (501): I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/edkm
  Replies (6) Good night (962) Bad night (531)
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  (914): View more from New York

  And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that

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  (914): And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that http://tfl.nu/fmcd
  Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (465)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.

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  (307): Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged. http://tfl.nu/ec83
  Replies (4) Good night (752) Bad night (244)

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