Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's rum buckets o'clock
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
