Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
