Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
