It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
