I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize