ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
