She went from zero to smokin in five shots
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
