I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
