If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
