$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
