remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
