She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
