i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
