Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
