I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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