remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
