I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize