just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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