My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
