It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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