Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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