it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
