Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
