Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Dick very happy bro
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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