I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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