I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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