Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
