I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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