this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Randomize
