So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
