The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
