You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
