I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
