he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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