Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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