i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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