my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your penis caused this!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
