Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
