laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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