Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
