you have to choose: penises or morals?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
