Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
one might say we're banned from that church
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
