Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.