I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.