you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie