i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
apparently the secret to your success is patron
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?