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May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
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