Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.

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(330): May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad. http://tfl.nu/9tjq

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"

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(608): imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord" http://tfl.nu/17lg

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(315): View more from New York

Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.

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(315): Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library. http://tfl.nu/bcrx

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox

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(904): I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox http://tfl.nu/xijk

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(925): View more from California

You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.

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(925): You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman. http://tfl.nu/wynx

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(801): View more from Utah

He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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(801): He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often. http://tfl.nu/6bnz

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.

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(814): If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know. http://tfl.nu/ag02

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..

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(973): I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends.. http://tfl.nu/k6dk

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(519): View more from Ontario

and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?

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(519): and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra? http://tfl.nu/qq09

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(619): View more from California

surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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(619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk. http://tfl.nu/u5eo

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.

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(870): I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car. http://tfl.nu/7djn

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes

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(508): I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes http://tfl.nu/xrcl

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(347): View more from New York

i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.

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(347): i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick. http://tfl.nu/65g9

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(954): View more from Florida

i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future

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(954): i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future http://tfl.nu/c3ju

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(323): View more from California

Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...

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(323): Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow... http://tfl.nu/iqf2

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