just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
