apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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