ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize