I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Little spoons don't ask big questions
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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