sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
