yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
