I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
