just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
