I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Acid is not a monday night drug
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
