Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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