I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
